Belarusian dream: immigration

If you ask me whether I wanted to immigrate. Most probably I would say "yes". The reason behind it is pretty simple: I disagree with environment people live in Belarus. In this situation you have two way-outs: change the environment by yourself or leave for another place. My choice was the second.

In Belarus it is common thing that people want to leave the country, by my estimation about 75% of people would be happy to move to Europe or USA. People want to have bigger income, better living conditions or they disagree with post-soviet mentality, which is deep inside everything in Belarus. Through the TV screen, Internet and travel visits we got used to think about these countries as about heaven on the earth. The reason is that we can see only good sides of what is going on there. And consider that if we come there, we will turn our life into dream.

Difficult to realize that it is not true. First few months you live in new country with excitement and with inside feeling of tourist. While you are tourist, you are the happiest in the world: again you enjoy all the things that are different from what you had before. But everything will change as soon as this feeling go away. As soon as your mind throws away excitement by changing dislocation, you started realize that there are a lot of things which matter for you but they are somewhere far away. You realize that together with good things there are many stuff that you do not like. And finally you realize that even if you thought that Belarusian mentality isn't yours, you cannot fit mentality these people have. You should remember all the time that your perception about things could be far away from reality. And as soon as you take off your "pink glasses", you start to realize all the differences.

What was the hardest for me? Realize at some point that you are nobody here and that you should start everything from the very beginning; that you are not needed by someone here, you act, live, survive on your own, nobody will care about you; that you can lose people you had before. Of course you could try to maintain your relationships but only if you strong enough to manage it. If not, you will end up on the edge of nothing.

You never know how people are important for you until you are away. You never know how things are important for you until you lose them. Does it hurt? A lot. Should you try? Sure. Only then you can appreciate them fairly. Only then you will know you values. Only then you will be able to make right choices in your life.

I am alien. Alien who most probably will never be able to integrate in this society completely. I feel connections, I feel dedication to Belarus. It something that comes from my heart and occupy my brain. I cannot fight with this feeling or I start to feel empty (because here you are nobody). If you strong enough to fill yourself one more time and get rid of this feeling, you will succeed. But for me, for now, I see no way to do so.

If you decided To immigrate, you should realize that you are going to lose everything you had before and start from the very beginning. even your family...